you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
