with your own penis?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
