i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
