Pass out mid-funnel last night.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
