if you like me you must not know who I am
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize