so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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