It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
