They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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