i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
