My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
