I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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