Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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