Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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