This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you would pick up someone in the library
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize