I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
