yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
