he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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