I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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