hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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