I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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