Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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