I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
