the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
