the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize