An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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