I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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