never play flip cup with pint glasses
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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