I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?