Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.