Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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