So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
