If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
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I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
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It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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