Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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