Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
