Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
