another moral hangover. fuck.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
