You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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