Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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