How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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