Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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