So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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