So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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