There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
