coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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