All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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