i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
