Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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