She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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