So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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