i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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