In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
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