let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
