I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
