they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We left the knife in your bed.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
