I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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