The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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