so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
